I am not Alone

I've just picked up the Cilantro magazine and read an article that made reminded me of something I was doing....
"Needless to say, there are other rules and regulations that u should adhere to if u intend to drive here. Let me explain. For instance, you must respect traffic lights. Green means 'go'. Yellow means 'go faster'. Red means 'go faster while waving your hand at other drivers going into the intersection'.
Another thing you ought to respect is the clueless young orange-vested traffic coordinator. Highly skilled city drivers know that this man is an obstacle to be overcome. If you stop at this obstacle, you will get rammed from behind by other highly skilled city drivers"

I especially enjoyed the piece about the microbuses.
"Do not attempt to overtake a microbus. This is an inflammatory action and will promptly get you killed. Microbuses are evil. They corrupt otherwise sane individuals. Once a young man gets the keys to a microbus, it's like he’s got keys to a Ferrari. He will behave this way. Stay behind him or let him pass you. You owe it to your children. You owe it to yourself."

The article was written by Mohammed Ayad in the Cilantro Central Magazine.

Highway To Hell

The other night I went to an engagement party of one of my friends (Congrats Karim!!! I doubt you’ll ever lay eyes on this blog though) at a villa in Sherouk, it was a real nice looking place and it had a swimming pool in the garden so I felt like I was in one of MTV’s cribs programs http://www.mtv.com/ontv/dyn/cribs/series.jhtml#/ontv/dyn/cribs/series.jhtml. The party was great, it had everything: Arabic music, dancing, booze (The closest thing to booze I have ever drunk is probably Lucozade http://www.lucozade.com/ and dancing isn’t exactly my expertise), chicks and food. Most important of all was that my friend really enjoyed himself and was extremely happy when I talked to him the day after the party. You’re probably wondering at this point what this has to do with the theme of my blog, well I’m getting there so hang on. After picking some mates its time to hit the Highway (i.e. the Suez Road or whatever it’s called), so I put my AC/DC-Iron Maiden cd on (ROCK ON!!!!) and headed towards El-Sherouk. One of the AC/DC songs on my cd was “Highway To Hell”, while listening and singing along to it, in the middle of my journey on the Suez motorway I started thinking; could I consider this highway as a “Highway to Hell”……Of course not, because Hell would have some decent lighting so people could see where they were going unlike the road I was on. I must have driven for at least ten minutes with my car lights on the highest just to make out what was ahead of me by about ten metres. Electricity isn’t that expensive you know, and I’m sure that the government has a few bob to spare to light up the roads. They’ve completely ignored the purpose of having lights in cars which is so that drivers can have an idea if there are any vehicles in front of or behind them - not to actually see the license plate numbers, car name and model or fellow drivers’ facial features. Back to the party, booze was being served left, right and center and a few people got drunk, now I don’t know whether the people who got drunk actually drove or not but this got me thinking, is there any sort of system that traffic police have so they can stop drivers and give them those breathalyzer’s to measure the concentration of alcohol in the driver’s blood? Does any sort of system like that exist here in Egypt? Even though Egypt is supposed to be an Islamic country (to me a country is a country, I see no difference) and I presume that the Egyptian government considers that there are not many people who do drink alcohol (Pure speculation on my behalf), but no matter how many people do, whether everyone or just one person, drinking and driving has never helped anyone.

The Untouchables

Have you ever noticed while driving how most pedestrians seem so carefree and relaxed when crossing a street? I mean, don’t they know what happens when a car hits them? They must have some sort of vague idea that the result of being hit can not be anything good. Instead of trying to cross the street as fast as possible to avoid severe pain and sometimes certain death, most Egyptians will stroll across like they are walking in a golf course (Every time I see this I picture that the person crossing the street can hear the Beatles’ song “Strawberry Fields Forever” which is a great track ). Whether the Egyptians who do this are trying to make some sort of statement (don’t ask me what because I have no idea what so ever) or if they are just trying to be ‘hip’ or ‘cool’ they never seize to amaze me no matter how many times I see it, and because of this I have decided that these super-cool-Egyptians deserved to be labeled as “The Untouchables” (I may have taken the title from a film http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094226/, a great film even though it has nothing to do with my blog, and I seriously believe that no one could replace Sean Connery as the best James Bond). Another thing I should warn you of “The Untouchables”, try not to honk your car horn at them as they seem to get annoyed when you do this. If you have the option of making your away around them, even if it means making another driver swerve to avoid your car slamming into theirs, then do so or risk the wrath of “The Untouchables” glare upon thyself. Also, be cautious of walking on the pavement, for some reason most Egyptians see no practical use for them and most probably regard anyone walking on them as delinquents. I think that you may feel that I am being a bit too sarcastic at times but in all honesty, the way most Egyptians in general deal with getting around in cars or while walking in streets is ridiculous and I feel that they have no common sense what-so-ever. I know that this is not constructive criticism and that I am probably just taking cheap shots at what is a corrupt system but I soon hope to introduce some methods, which if people follow, will allow people to get around with more ease and convenience). I hope that no-one gets offended by my comments on the way the people in Egypt perceive traffic, in no way do I mean to stereotype or generalize my opinions and views on everyone in Egypt. Finally (this was quite a long post for me), I welcome all comments as I like to think that everyone is different in their views and opinions, until next time I bid you farewell.

Drive Like An Egyptian

Hi everyone, this is my first post on "Chronicles of Cairo". This blog is about the wonders, thrills and chills of driving in Egypt, I am no Schumacher myself but I probably have more first hand experience than you do!! Everyday that I go out, whether to my university or just out and about, there is always something amazing that my freindly-neighbourhood-safe-driving-law-abiding-egyptians are trying to pull off. For some reason I seem to be one of the few people here in Egypt who know the purpose of the mirrors in the car!!! It must be that most of the people who drive prefer living on the wildside and getting adreniline rushes from all the high risk manoeuvers that they do. Being considered a crash-dummy by my fellow drivers is not the only thing that makes driving perilous, the wonderful streets dont make matters any better with all the holes and needless street bumps. I wish I could say that I know every nook and cranny of the streets in Cairo but unfortunetly I don't, once I find a path to my destination that involves no holes, no bumps and the presence of some lamposts that actualy have bulbs that are functional, I stick with it. Being a lot English and a bit of Egyptian, I know how hard it can be for people who are coming from abroad to adjust to the wacky ways of life here, or if you are just starting to drive and want to know what you will have to put up with while driving in Cairo, I will try to pass on my "wisdom" and "knowledge" of Egyptian driving (if there is any such thing).