"KAPLA", The Impending Klingon Invasion and Kryptonite

Wow, it seems like ages ago since I last posted. I do have an excuse… I really good one: I’ve been educating people with some trekkie terms, they may laugh at me now for my knowledge of Klingon but they won’t be seeing the funny side of it once the Klingons commence their impending invasion of Earth. We’ll see who has the last laugh then… Mwhahahhahahahahahhah. It will be me with my lightsaber against the Klingons with their Bat'leth!!! Here is a list of stuff that should be useful incase your have no idea about Star Trek or if you don’t know the ways of the force:

Klingons: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Klingon#History_of_the_Klingon_Empire

Bat'leth: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bat%27leth

Lightsaber: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lightsaber

And just to prove that I’m not a die-hard trekkie who has Klingon battle armor instead of a suit, I took this Okcupid Star Trek test and here are the results

Trekkie Appreciator Survey Says... You scored 71 %

You like Star Trek and have obviously watched more than a couple of episodes or movies, but you don't live or breathe the world (read: you probably don't go to your local McDonalds in your Klingon gear - not that there's anything wrong with that...). Excellent! You've managed to tread the fine line between sci-fi buff and Star Trek nerd (otherwise known as the difference between enjoying Star Trek for its entertainment Another test which I decided to take was the Star Wars personality and I’m happy with the result: Yoda You scored 25% airiness, 31% squishiness, and 63% edginess! According to our patented JawamaticTM technology, you are most like Yoda in personality. A traditionalist at heart, Yoda has honed his intuition through hundreds of years of meditation and study. But don't let that fool you -- he believes the old ways are the best ways. To him, the known is preferable to the unknown. Yoda is, in a word, reliable. Most of you probably don’t know Yoda , at first glance you’re probably thinking that he’s green, small with big pointy ears and looks like he’s stoned…. Which he is (not sure about the stoned part though), but you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover (you should see him when he dishes out some punishment with his lightsaber especially in Episode 3). Anyways, enough about the force and other sci-fi matters and back to my beloved Egypt. One thing which I have just realized, which I’ve always done subconsciously, is that when there is water in the street everyone slows down. This is probably one of the few times that I have noticed that people here will slow down for, I mean they don’t even do that for people crossing the roads!! Some people will probably say that they do this as not to dirty the cars behind or besides them. I think that is quite a stupid excuse, how long does a car stay clean for in Egypt even when it’s parked never mind moving?? If it does something to the car engine or something like that (I haven’t the faintest idea about car mechanics other than what petrol to put in the car and where I can fill the car with water) then I’d say to the driver in front of me, “Eshta 3leek ya bob” which is literally translated as “cream on you Bob” and means “cheers gaffer” or “thank you mister”. These situations where drivers are terrified to go past 20Kph in water sort of reminds me of Super Man. You know, guy with the blue costume, red cape and the tiny-nearly-invisible ‘S’ on his chest? Yeah, well he’s super strong and all with a load of nifty super powers, he kind of reminds me of Egyptian drivers, the only difference is that Super Man does have them while Egyptian drivers think they do and in fact don’t. Anyway, Super Man’s only weakness is Kryptonite http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kryptonite (here’s a huge article on all the different types of it, personally I don’t know all of them and I don’t intend to read this), so perhaps if we start watering our streets on a daily basis people will start to drive a little more decently. Just like to give a shout out to the Menna, who was recently in the El-Gomhureya newspaper for her blog "Guide to Cairo" and for putting my blog on her links on her page :D!! www.guidetocairo.blogspot.com , go check it out if you’d like to read some positive stuff about Egypt. Also, In case you read this Nancy, I haven’t forgotten about your ticket that you got while in the university parking, so hopefully I will get around to writing about that soon. Last but not least: Live Long & Prosper